Well it’s early as all hell

And I’m awake. I just went to Tim Horton’s to pick up my daily dose of caffeine which I am now sipping gingerly.

Weaning myself off of cigarettes is going better than I had anticipated. I’m getting a slight buzz whenever I smoke which means that the amount of nicotine coursing through my body at any given time is a lot lower than it was a few days ago. Hopefully this pack will be my last. I’ve been having one every four hours and I’m hoping to bump it up to five today. Wish me luck. Luckily Rey has been helping me immensely by yelling at me whenever I do smoke and congratulating me when I don’t. She’s a life saver.

I told her kind of a funny story the other day and I thought I’d share it with you. (Note: This story is funny to me, it may not be to you. And if not, I’m sorry.)

I was with my friend downtown at a local bar pounding back beers and acting like your average twenty year-old. The alcohol had severely lowered my inhibitions so I was talking to random girls hoping for any sort of action. I found one beautiful girl (obviously out of my league and already drunker than I) and started chatting her up. I offered to buy her a drink and she said sure. "A raspberry and vodka." or some nonsense. I thought, hey, I might actually have a shot with this girl! So I ran off to buy her her drink.

When I came back to the table there was a guy standing there with his arm around the girl. "Oh, this is my boyfriend!" I stared, bewildered and handed her her drink. This girl conned me! I say, "Hey. What’s up." to her boyfriend (I didn’t actually care.) Then I say, "That’s your girlfriend?" He says, "Yeah. She’s beautiful isn’t she?" "Uh. Yeah…" "Well babe, let’s get out of here." And they stand up to leave with the boyfriend leading. He walks out of the door first with the girl close behind when I think, "You know what? That’s bullshit." So I get up, walk over to her and say, "Give me my drink back." She looked befuddled and handed it back to me. I walked back to my table, sat down and chugged it. Damn, that was one satisfying drink.

Fin.

Oh yeah, classic song (that Aura doesn’t like cause she’s retarded):

Okay, Rey requested that I tell you guys about what happened last night. I think my mom is PMSing cause she gets mad about nonsensical crap when she is. So I go downstairs to talk to her about something or other and she says, "Why is the tree so dry? Why didn’t you fill up the tree stand with water?" And I go, "In my twenty-two years on this planet, I have never filled up the tree stand with water. How could you possibly expect me to know to do it?" And she said something like, "Well now you know! I had to fill it up myself. You’re old enough to do this stuff." "Uh. Okay, mom. My bad."

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