April 2008

So Nicole came down today.  The TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) strike fucked our plans up hXc, though.  She called me at 7 in the morning saying that she couldn’t get to the train station in Toronto because the buses weren’t running.  Actually at first she just didn’t know why the bus hadn’t come by yet.  She called the TTC and the message said that they were on strike.  Lazy, greedy asses.

SO I went to Toronto and picked her up instead and brought her back here.  I left at around eight in the morning with about 4 hours of sleep.  Needless to say, today has been exhausting.  So after a four hour drive (two there, two back (though the two back seemed to go a lot quicker)) we made it back to London and to my house.  We chillllllled and ate pizza and did various other stuff.  It was a good time.  I dropped her off at the train station at eight and she went back home.

Our only picture together:

(There’s four different versions of this pose)

We meant to take lots of pictures but totally forgot until the very end.  OH WELL.

Now it’s 3:30 in the morning and I’m trying to sleep.  My asthma is killin me.  I WILL TRY AGAIN.

Easy.

Oh yah.  We also saw someone getting stomped downtown on the way to the train station.  That was pretty nuts.  =\

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(at the train station.)

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Okay, my blog has this thing that tells me who visits, or if they come from a search engine then it lets me know what they originally searched for.  And in the past couple of weeks I’ve seen this SO often:

WHY?  Did some movie called “Sleep fucking” just come out?  I don’t understand this.  They go to that one page and then leave.  I’ve seen “Sleep fucking” a hundred times in the past couple of weeks.  PLEASE HELP ME UNDERSTAND.

LOOK:

THE COMBINATIONS OF “SLEEP” AND “FUCK” ARE BAFFLING.  ARGH.  And look at all the types of Googles!  They’re surfacing from places all over the world.  Is it a new catch phrase?  Was there a special on sleep fucking on the BBC?  Okay, I’m done.  Just so confused.

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My leg hurts.  The back of my thigh sorta.  Why can’t I just have a normal goddamned body?  It seems like I always have some strange ache or pain or sickness.  IT PISSES MEHOFF.

I want my mark from the C++ exam that I wrote on Monday.  I’m tres curious.  I got a hundred percent on the multiple choice section but I want to see how I did on the coding.  I got all of the programs working but I left out any sort of error handling or commenting so he may take some marks for that.  Ah well.  I hope I have more C++ next semester.

I sort of wish that I had taken Computer Sciences at UWO.  But it’s mad expensive.  Plus I’d have to go back and take a bunch of university-prep high school courses.  A couple math and English classes.  FACK THAT.

Anyway.  I’m outtie.  THREE DAYS.  Crazy.

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+

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I friggin slept for like 20 hours yesterday.  It was weird.  And today I’ve been sleeping like crazy too.  I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG BUT IT’S MAKING ME MAD.  I’m hoping that it gets better on its own within the next couple of days.  I’m sure it will.

Last exam tomorrow.  C++.  Will ace it fo sho.

I downloaded the Necro discography.  He’s such a sick fuck hahaha.  He has a song called “Raped Infants.”  Wtf?  Crazy dude.  Talented, though.

AH I JUST LOOKED AT MY CLOCK.  We’re in 2008.  WHERE IS MY HOVER BOARD?

I’m leaving.

Nicole is coming down in six days.  :o   Excitinggggg.

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(That’s April 21, btw.)

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So a Mourning Dove decided to move into my backyard.  She’s been chilling above my barbeque for a while.  LOOK:

I’m gonna see some baby birds soon I think.  She’s been sitting there none stop for the past couple of days.

Life is so peachy right now.  I’m getting my tax return soon, school is over on Moonday AND Nickolka is coming to visit next weekend.  I can’t wait.  IZ ALL VURRY GOOD.

BYE.

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Everything is so good.

I’m happy.

GO ME.

Now to do this stupid homework.

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School is over in eight days.  EIGHT.  Except I have a couple of fairly big assignments to finish before then.  This stupid web design thing where I have to build a flash program.  And thennnnnn the web design exam.  Ah well.  I’m confident that I’ll do okay on both of them.  ZEN I have to do my marketing exam.  I have a 48 in that class right now =\  Well, it’s more like a 65.  A 48 would be if I got zero on the final and also got zero on this other dumb little assignment, which will not happen.

In two weeks Nickolka is coming down to visit from the GTA. :o  I’m so looking forward to it.  VE VILL VATCH MOVIE.  And I’ll show her around the city.  Not that there’s much to see.  I’m so glad that we started talking.  I was so miserable and depressed before.  Shit iz good nao.

Then uhhhh.  I guess that’s aboot it.  I was going to yell about how my Gmail Notifier stopped working but I re-installed it and that fix’t it.

It’s too cold right now.  4 degrees but with the wind it feels like 0.  Ah well.  It’ll warm up throughout the week.

BAI.

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Schools is almost over.  Ten more days I believe.  I’ve successfully passed all of my classes and am looking forward to another semester (in due time.)  I think this summer is gonna be pretty rad.

It’s been so nice out lately.  Fucking gorgeous.  It’s cold and cloudy out now, and about to rain, BUT April showers bring May flowers amirite?

There’s this male and female Cardinal that have been hanging out around my house.  I’ve tried to get a decent picture but the little bastards always fly off JUST as I’m about to photograph them.  These are the best shots that I could get:

Both of the birds are in the middle shot.  It’s sort of hard to see because the female blends in with the ground.

I realised that I can say “good” in six different languages!  Good (English), Bien (French), Bine (Romanian), Dobre (Slovakian), Gut (German), and Bueno (Spanish).  I AM MASTER OF LANGUAGES.

SI ACUM, I vill go talk to Nicole.  Aurevoir.  (Pa pa)

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These past few days have been pretty good.  With the beautiful weather and school coming to an end, life seems pretty peachy.  Plus I made a new friend who I’ve been talking to a tonnn.  It’s been enjoyable.  I also have a bunch of Valium in my drawer which is always handy.  AND I’m getting my tax return in a couple of days.  Like three hundred bonesssssss.  It’s gonna be sweet.

I have an 88 in Java which means I don’t have to write the exam.  It woulda been 94 but I couldn’t  sleep until six in the morning so I ended up missing class.  Ah well.  And all the rest of my classes are basically taken care of.  I could miss the exams completely and still get decent marks.  (Of course I won’t do that.)

NOW.  I’m going to go finish this assignment then move onto another.  I have to do a presentation.  I don’t want to.  I have to dress nice I guess.  I was in class and one of my group members was like, “Do we have to dress up?” and the other guy goes, “Yes.” and the dude’s like, “How nice?” and the guy points to me and says, “Not that fancy.  A bit nicer than that.”  And I was wearing my new shit so I was like, “Wtf.  I’M BALLIN’, DAWG.”

I’m out.

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To Wordpress 2.5 (I think).  I’m liking the new dashboard.  It’s neat.  And the comments section has gravatars built right in.  Good shit.

And yeahhhhh.  So if you have any problems with the new version, let me know.

OUT.

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And it’s driving me insane.

I don’t know if it’s the asthma or what but it’s now 4:30 in the morning and I haven’t slept at all.  Maybe it’s because I slept this afternoon?  I don’t know.  I doubt it.  That’s never kept me up this late before.  OH SHIT.  I had coffee after dinner.  That might’ve done it.  Although that ALSO has never stopped me from sleeping.  Maybe it’s the valium I’ve been taking lately.  That’s a definite possibility.  It might have fucked up my regular sleeping habits.

Whatever.  I have an 8 o’clock class but fuck that.  Alex is sleeping in.  Unless I awaken for some crazy reason.  Ughhhh.

I AM VERY DISPLEASED RIGHT NOW.

An appropriate song for the current situation:

Sometimes I feel
Like I’ll never fall asleep
I feel helpless
You can’t help me
Fall asleep
I like to dream
But it scares me to think
That at some point
I’ll forget when the dream began

I just got out of my bed
Covered in sweat
I was angry
‘Cause you kept your hand on my chest
Don’t touch me
I’m concentratin’ on sleep
On what I’ll dream
But I can’t keep my eyelids shut

Look at me sleepin’
I’m really sleepin’
Look at me dreamin’
I’m so happy (x2)

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Yeah I went out and bought some new clothes for spring.  Even though they’re not really spring clothes.  Idk.  But they’re pretty cool either way.  I got a pair of jeans, two sweaters, and two t-shirts.

They might be terrible choices.  I’m not sure.  But they’re warm and were relatively cheap.  I really need a woman to come shopping with me at some point cause I don’t know wtf I’m doing.

So uh.  Today.  Same old same old.  I guess I have some homework that I should do.  Fuuuuuuck.  I’ll get to it eventually.

I’m out.

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Mindfulness and the development of core qualities

Kabat-Zinn9 describes seven attitudinal qualities that underpin mindfulness practice which are both the stance we bring to the practice and a consequence of it. These qualities are:

• Non-judging – opening to an awareness of the stream of our inner and outer experience; to the ways that we tend towards automatically judging it and reacting to it and learning to step back from it. Kabat-Zinn9 describes this as a ‘stance of an impartial witness to your experience’

• Patience – an understanding that things can only emerge in their own time.

• Beginner’s mind – a willingness to see everything as if for the first time, and the ability to bring freshness, clarity and vitality to experience in each moment rather than seeing things through a fog of preconceptions. In this way mindfulness practice enables us to develop a perspective on our experience that is not based on our history.

• Trust – developing a faith in the validity of one’s own thoughts, feelings and intuition. Mindfulness practice offers a structure and a process for enabling one to witness personal experience and an encouragement to rely on the validity of this evidence. 3

• Non-striving - an attitude of willingness to allow the present to be the way it is. One is explicitly not trying to fix problems through mindfulness. Non-striving is ‘having no goal other than for you to be yourself’9 as you currently are.

• Acceptance – an openness and willingness to see things as they actually are in the present moment which sets the stage for acting appropriately in one’s life.

• Letting go – the development of an ability to acknowledge the arising and passing of experience without becoming entangled in the content of it. Mindfulness practice puts a particular emphasis on coming to know our conditioned tendency to hold onto the pleasant and reject the unpleasant and to see the ways in which this perpetuates our difficulties.

I definitely have to work on those.

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It’s gorgeous outside.

FINALLY.

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No one has the ability to make me as mad as she does.  It’s so weird.  Whatever.  C’est la vie, as they say. 

Hey look!  It’s my house with the red truck thurr!  Google Earth gives a wayyyyyy worse picture of my city.  That shiz is so detailed.  The little Insert Map thing in Windows Live Writer kicks ass.

I wrote a test today.  I think that it went okay.  You could tell that my teacher didn’t actually write it, though.  She’s not that smart.  Andd I also handed in my English essay.  I hope that I did okay on it.  I’m sort of teetering in that class thanks to my lackadaisical attitude and my general foul mood and laziness as of late.  I think that I’ll get a decent mark, though.  My teacher likes me.

Spring is finally here.  I’m so fucking happy about it.  Today it was pretty cold but yesterday it was sooooo nice and it’s supposed to be mad warm and sunny this weekend.  I’m looking forward to it.

Okay, I’m out.

Here’s a little hip hop to keep you entertained:

Btw, I’m half way to another Adsense payment. WOOT.

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I was walking to class yesterday and I saw this duck.  He was very colourful and he was just standing there very still.  It intrigued me and made me laugh at the same time.  There’s no pond or body of water in the middle of campus or even close to campus.  Where the hell did this duck come from?  I assumed that he’d fly away and I’d never see him again.  Not so.

I came to class today and not only was he there, but now there was a female duck accompanying him.  I had to get a picture.  Sorry for the poor quality but if I walked to towards them they’d get spooked and start shuffling away.

Animals trip me out so badly.  Just their mere existence makes me laugh and brings a little light to my day.  They’re so dumb and innocent.  They just do what they do.  I don’t know.  It’s hard to explain.

Anyway, I’m doing C++ so I should get back to that.  Easy.

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Email me, FUCKAS.

Also, awesome song:

ALSO, you hattscribbers may have noticed this little message:

Rest assured that I’m on top of these things.  I figured that I’d explain the process to you guys (and girls). 

I log into cPanel through my browser (which happens to be Opera.  DOWNLOAD IT.), which looks like this:

That’s where I control all the subdomains, databases, FTP accounts, email address, etc.  See that little Fantastico icon?

That’s the program that I use to install/upgrade all of your Wordpress accounts.  When I click on it, it brings me to this screen:

NOW.  When the upgrade comes through, a notification appears on the main page yelling at me to update.  Fantastico updates all their stuff once in a while.  I have no idea when and how they choose to add the upgrade scripts.  All I know is that it happens eventually.  And I just discovered this nifty little feature:

SO.  When the new version comes through, it will email me and tell me to come in and upgrade all your shiz (including my own.  I’m just as anxious as you guys).  You just have to be patient.  It may take a week or two but it shall happen.

Well I hope I’ve put your beautiful little minds at ease.

Love,

hatt

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