Man.

I just got back from the beach. I left here around midnight and drove a half an hour or so to get there. I smoked a cigarette while I listened to the waves and watched the stars. I’m not sure if it’s my city’s pollution or if it was just a really clear night, but it was beautiful. The sky was practically lit up with them. It’s not something I ever get to see from my backyard.

Then I went to some bar, which I think is one of two bars in Port Stanley, and had a beer and a smoke. It was a crazy place. It was a house that was converted to a bar and I bumped my head on the ceiling once or twice. It seemed like everyone knew each other there. I wasn’t drunk enough to hit on any girls and none approached me so it was a bust on that front but it was still pretty cool. Afterwards I went back to the beach for another cigarette and I’m fairly certain that I saw some people skinny dipping, though I couldn’t be certain because of how dark it was. Then I hopped back in my car and took off.

I got stopped by the RIDE (Reduced Impaired Driving Everywhere) program coming out of Port Stanley (the beach town). It was kind of scary because even though I wasn’t nearly drunk I’m not actually supposed to have any alcohol whatsoever with my class of license. I said that I had one beer and then he made me say the alphabet and then told me to have a good night. He didn’t check my driver’s license, thank Christ. It was kind of scary.

It’s nice driving through the country at night when you’re practically the only car on the road and you can smell the country air. It was cool.

I’m not sure what prompted me to go. I was feeling like utter shit earlier tonight and suddenly got the urge to take off and leave. I felt like I was having an anxiety attack or something. Half way out of the city it kept kicking in and telling me to just go back home but then I thought of this quote from Ghost Dog that kept me going:

Ghost Dog: In the words of the ancients, one should make his decision within the space of seven breaths. It is a matter of being determined and having the spirit to break through to the other side.

Also

Ghost Dog: When one has made a decision to kill a person, even if it will be very difficult to succeed by advancing straight ahead, it will not do to think about doing it in a long, roundabout way. One’s heart may slacken, he may miss his chance, and by and large there will be no success. The Way of the Samurai is one of immediacy, and it is best to dash in headlong.

(I hadn’t decided to kill anyone but I feel like it applied to my situation. I had to dash in headlong and break through to the other side.)

ANYWAYZ. Je suis chez moi maintenant alors je vais dormir.

Night.

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