The weird thing about not smoking for even a couple days is that your sense of smell starts to return and you start noticing all these weird odors everywhere you go.

It’s not all together unpleasant.

I can’t think very well. Everything feels like it’s in a fog and my memory is in shambles, worse even than usual. I also just generally feel off but I’m not desperately fiending for smokes so I’m happy. Although I could definitely go for one. The first couple days are the hardest so by this time tomorrow or Thursday I should be golden. I always try to analyze my nicotine level and shit and figure out whether or not I could stand to have a cigarette or if it would put me back to day 0 but I can’t think well enough to do it so I’m just going to steer clear of that stuff all together.

Good bye.

P.S. You wouldn’t believe how slowly the days go by when you want a cigarette. Damn you and your theories, Einstein.

School’s pretty bad. I’m failing a couple of classes. I’m such a totally lazy ass. If I actually attempted to do the work then I’d do a lot better but usually I’d just rather sleep or play videogames or watch movies. Whatever. I ain’t worried.

Over and out.

[Uncle Howie talking]

My life is- I’m dependent, I can’t help it. I started at a young age. I’m too dependent on it, you know? Drugs and music get me where I wanna go now. But I gotta make the money for it and it’s not that easy nowadays.

[Chorus]

My uncle shoots heroin, my father used to do cocaine
My moms used to smoke weed with her friends when I was eight
Smoked weed when I was twelve, sold weed at fourteen
?
Like fucking for virginity
Conscious rap is bullshit, gangster rap is a fraud
This is real rap, bang your fucking head through the wall
This is drug music, stuck with a syringe in your arm
I’m the truth like the name of the song
Yo my uncle shoots heroin

[Verse 1]

Bathroom floor, vile and syringe
When I was out on the Hydro Tour Howie went out on a binge
The snake bitch I was fucking even took him to cop
A month later he was on the floor looking for rock
Mr. ? the Czech Republic walked in the path
Of Howie lying in his own puke dying from crack
Cocaine poisoning, he shot the heroin since fourteen
February 2003, he was clean
I helped him out, he kicked crack, dope, and meth
Hosted shows, free clothes, bubblebaths, autographs
T-shirts, soon I’mma make a Howie action figure
Before his latest relapse I’m glad I captured pictures
I love Howie, homie used to change my diapers
To save him I’d have jumped in front of spray from snipers
But this is just something that he’s gotta do on his own
I try to get through to him with this song

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]

He used to live in my crib, sleep on my couch
Smoke a Newport while ? gave me comic books
Bought me my first bass guitar
Learned from my grandma how to tell you the future with cards
Watch the sci-fi channel high off of methadone
More addictive than anything injected in the arm
D.T.’s five in the morning waking my moms
Got a search warrant but Howie Tennenbaum is gone
Roaming the streets, he was a superhero to me
When I was five I used to pick the seeds out of his weed
Nodding out, burning cigarette holes in his sheets
Wake up and eat a box of Captain Crunch then go back to sleep
He was a crackhead too, he might still be
A walking relapse, that motherfucker’s still on the streets
You tell him right he goes left
Show him right he does wrong
I hope I get through to him with this song

[Chorus]

Also, welcome SpM to the fam.

Also: Fallout 3 is pretty good. But the first couple were better.

Also: JMT released their album on their Myspace page here.

Also: Apparently Obama won. First black president. Pretty impressive.

Also: I think I’m going to fail most of my classes this semester and waste a lot of money.

Also: I’m neck-deep in debt.

Also: Remind me to buy a length of rope later.

Also: Fuck you.

I was driving my dad to work and there were downed power lines and trees all over. It took an hour just to get him there. Wild eh.

I thought that maybe it was gone for good because of bad karma. I’ve been really pissed off lately and acting like a bit of an asshole. Stressing out because of school and all that shit but it’s cool now.

I need more Valium. I think that I only have one dose of my theriac left. A buck a pill is a decent price for such relaxation, although I find that it’s been losing its effectiveness. I guess I need to ease off of it for a little while.

PEACE.