October 2008

Man. Crazy snow last night. The result:

I was driving my dad to work and there were downed power lines and trees all over. It took an hour just to get him there. Wild eh.

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I was in a slight panic. I ran back to my truck to see if I left it in there. I sifted through the whole fucking vehicle, looking underneath the seats and everything. I found two lighters but no wallet. Then out of desperation I went and asked the parking lot attendant dude if anyone happened to have turned in a wallet. He said no but he found the wallet and turned it into the security office. WIN. That dude is palmary. I went and picked it up and it still had my money in it.

I thought that maybe it was gone for good because of bad karma. I’ve been really pissed off lately and acting like a bit of an asshole. Stressing out because of school and all that shit but it’s cool now.

I need more Valium. I think that I only have one dose of my theriac left. A buck a pill is a decent price for such relaxation, although I find that it’s been losing its effectiveness. I guess I need to ease off of it for a little while.

PEACE.

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I’m sitting in class and I have no fucking idea what this dude is talking about. He’s going way too fast. I want to pop a hundred xanax and drink twenty beer and forget about all this midterm project test learning fucking bullshit. I’m too retarded for any of this shit. FUCK.

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Canada is too fast-paced. It’s whack. We’re all in the fucking rat race.

I need some more drugs.

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Oh my God I’m free at last
But what am I to do with that?
My legs are telling me to run
But my heart tells me that you’re the one

But don’t take my advice
I’m already where I’m from
But I’m not ready to settle down
And I just started looking ’round

If there’s one thing that I know best
Don’t take time when you’re ?
It always catches up with you
And all the shit you put me through

But don’t take my advice
I’m already where I’m from
But I’m not ready to settle down
And I just started looking ’round

And I’m not ready to settle down
God damn I just started looking ’round

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Put me on a boat and cut the line
The fishing’s been much better but the weather’s fine
And all my friends are here to kill the time
And all the things I love are in rewind
And I wouldn’t care if they all just disappeared
Cause you know I’ll be coming back here every year
The promise of the fall
And winter’s lazy call
They’ve got me pinned against the wall
And all we are is all in all

And I’m not afraid to die
As long as you’re by my side
We can sleep the whole year through
And then I will up and leave
To show you that I believe
In the way that things used to be

Put me in a box and close the lid
Put me on a shelf, keep my well-hid
And everything I said and everything I did
And everyone I’ve known since I was a kid
And keep me there until I’m old
Until I know that I am wise and dumb
Cause right now I’m too weak
My mouth can barely speak
My days are cold and bleak
And we are on debris
? civil war
Between my heart and yours
We will fight by ourselves
?
It was just friendly fire
Went on for a bit too long

Put me through the truth and make me learn
Everything I have and never earned
Like the way your heart always returned
After I had left it unconcered
And I will be much better this time, I swear
I’ll pull you back in time and I’ll keep you there
The dead hand of the past
Making time go by so fast
Making all my troubles last
And I’d rather die alone in the grass

Don’t let me hestitate
And don’t sit around and wait
While the others are having fun
And I like it better here
Where I can be cold all year
At least I’ll be by myself
Ah-ha-ha-ha

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Father, I don’t run
I thought you were gone
For when all the fish have gone away

Mother, you were right
I should have stayed that night
Instead I followed him from port

Sister, are you there?
In the middle of July
When everybody tries to sleep

And brother, I know
This is not the life you chose
I must follow him from port

La-la-la-la
From port

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I sleep all through my mornings
Spend my afternoons just lying in my bed
Cause I’ve done everything I could do
And I’ve said everything that I could’ve said
It kills me to think that straight lines
Have taken over the life that I’ve led

So say fare-thee-well to the concrete
I try to stand up on my own two feet
There aren’t any more winds in the road
That will be my time to go

With my eyes glued on the road
And from my fingers to my toes
I am aware of everything that I can know
So I’ll stand tall and I’ll stand proud
I’ll sing a song, I’ll sing it loud
I’ll bury all my apprehension underground

I don’t even know which way to go
I’ll pack my things and head home

I keep smiling at everybody
Passing by me, all I get is dirty looks
All my friends were empty liars
So I’ve just been hanging out
With the wanderers and crooks
There’s no value in education
It’s just lies and pens and paper and notebooks

Forgot about the state of the world
So I’ll just fall in love with a girl
Got too many years left to spend
She’s all I think about in the end

I’ll take my cue from rock ‘n roll
And everything that I’ve been told
Everything that I have known for my whole life
And I’ve been too afraid to use
And I’ve been too weak to abuse
And too concerned that I might lose this silly game

I don’t even know which way to go
Pack my things and head home

I’ve got some family in Alaska
Got some friends out in old Ohio
And I’d be fine to take some sun
And I’d be more than fine to play in the snow

I don’t want to be no businessman
Don’t want to be no crooked CEO
So take me out to Kodiak Island
We’ll go out to sea for a while
With my legs hanging off the stern
See what I can learn

The Northern Lights say hi
And throw all their colours into the sky
I’ll be sure to tell them that I’m doing fine
There’s just so much to explore
That I have never seen before
There are some things that are
Just easier to ignore

I don’t even know which way to go
I’ll pack my things and head home

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I beat KOTOR. I was such a puissant Jedi by the end. I never fell to the dark side, either. Bastila and I fell in love part way through and our love saved her from the dark side. We lived happily ever after. It was pretty awesome.

I tried getting The Sith Lords but the dumb bitch wouldn’t run on Vista. It was pretty disheartening. Actually, you can get it running but you have to disable the sound. Well fuck that. I already beat it anyways. And the ending makes no sense because the company that created it was on a time crunch and left out a bunch of videos and plot lines. They pretty much ruined the game.

Maybe they’ll send KOTOR 3 back to Canada and Bioware will it get right.

C++ sucks. SQL sucks. Fuck school. I think I slept for about thirteen hours last night. I feel woozy. My shoulder hurt too for some reason. I think leukaemia is flowing through my body and death is imminent. But I’ve thought that several times before and I always end up living for a few more months, though more tired and weak. Help me.

I had this super sweet dream a few nights ago. Some girl asked me to a dance or something and we ended up falling in love. It was nice. I also had his dream last night that I had sex with a relative. She wasn’t a real one though. Just a dream relative. It was sort of weird but satisfying nonetheless.

I’m leaving.

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In math class at the moment, learning about or gates, and gates, nand gates, etc. It’s pretty interesting stuff. (lol) I think I’m actually starting to understand this stuff. I’ve felt so fucking retarded and lazy lately. It’s weird. I did a lot better last year. Maybe I just had better teachers.

There’s this really geeky dude in my class that kind of pisses me off too. He’s always answering every question and making me feel dumb. Shut the fuck up, you nerd.

I think as a quondam drug-abuser I have problems digesting information. They may have permanently fucked up my already poor, feeble brain even worse. I need a new one. I keep getting headaches too which makes it hard as hell to concentrate.

I just asked my teacher, who pretty much knows everything (and doesn’t hesitate to rub it in your face), if downloading movies is illegal in Canada, because I wasn’t exactly sure on the state of that particular issue. Apparently it’s not. The Supreme Court ruled that as long as you don’t sell the movies, it’s perfectly legal. Holla. And haha at poor little Alie.

Okay I’m out.

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I’ve been watching Star Wars lately. They’re actually pretty good movies. I’ve never made it through an entire Star Wars film before, probably because when they had that whole re-invigoration of the franchise I was still a youngster and the movies were too long for me. But yeah. They’re exciting shit. I watched the first two and just have to watch the third now. I want to move stuff with my mind and have a lightsaber and crap. That’d be awesome.

I’m supposed to write something using the phrase, “fifth column” but I can’t think of a way to implement it. Anyways, it means a group of sympathizers or supporters of an enemy that engages in espionage or sabotage within defence lines or national borders. It was the Merriam-Webster’s word of the day. I’m trying to use the word of the day in each of my blog posts. It’ll help me remember the word or phrase plus it’ll hopefully convince to write an actual post everyday.

In other news, my goddamn belt just broke when I was outside telling my buddy a joke about midgets. I think it was karma. I’m using one of those things that you get with your college’s name on it, like a fob - I don’t know the actual term – to keep my pants up. We’ll see how it works when I actually start walking around.

Adios

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